So Powerful

Well, there's no doubt that my pace of posting and poetry has slowed down of late.  At first I was uncomfortable with this.  However, as I've been contemplating my life I've come to a place of peace.  Ministry takes many forms and when the time is right the poetry will flow.

I have been working through an interesting, and powerful, lesson of late.  The other night I was caught by fear.  It's mighty grip shook me as I stared at some financial numbers.  In spite of having stood on a stage only a few nights earlier as the headlining corporate sponsor for the Michael Beckwith event in Edmonton, and working non stop for the past two months I felt fear around abundance.  And more laughable still, I'm in the process of working with a private equity company on expanding my business.  The signs of financial freedom do not get any clearer, yet there I was feeling the crushing weight of the symptoms of an old mindset around lack.

How deep seated must this fear be to feel it so strongly at such a time.  I turned from the computer and went downstairs to share this with my wife.  And in her amazing presence she held consciousness with me.  She saw through my struggle with an amazing certainty.

In turn, I felt something snap within me.  I told my wife that, "I was done" with the fear of lack.  All my life I had faced scant balances, times of hunger and poverty, a childhood of struggle.  It was almost as if I was now moving through anger to a place of unfathomable determination.  My wife remarked that I had said the exact same words in the same way when speaking about being done with my 'degenerating' back 6 months ago.  It turns out that I was really was done with the symptoms of agonizing pain in my back.

Upon hearing this the truth became clear. I knew she was speaking the truth and felt the weight of fear fall from me like a lead weight. 

Sometimes the gift of the friends, and support network, we surround ourselves with become a safety net.  For all the work I've done this year I was reminded that I am human.  Fear finds me at the most unexpected of times.  The difference can sometimes be our closest friends.  So powerful they are...

So Powerful
So powerful is the lover's
embrace with the root of their love.
They know the essence of their beloved,
within all glance, encounter, and touch.

So powerful is enlightenment,
that unlocks mind from these forms.
When we learn to seek simple,
flattening time, space, and norms.

So powerful is the unlocking
of life's physical chain.
A knowing and a strength,
mightier than condition or pain.

So powerful are our supports,
that believe in our glory,
that hold us to our light,
and see straight through our story.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen

Delays

Sometimes the synchronicity of events is both inspiring and humbling.   I was reading a book on the plane the other day where the author wrote of a meeting she'd had with a Muslim woman.  The author herself had just been ordained as an interfaith minister and was enjoying the conversation when the woman she was speaking with remarked that all people should be as accepting as the author was.

In reading this I was reminded of how the focus and faith of my life is also of acceptance.  I looked about the plane and seeing that there was no one to dive into such a conversation with I settled back to enjoying the rest of the book and the flight.

But perhaps I should take a step back.  My journey had encountered a number of delays.  When we were about to take off we were held up by a man who'd arrived late.  Taking off some 20 minutes later we arrived late as expected from a 4.5 hour flight.  When I went to get a car home I found myself waiting in the wrong queue, and 30 minutes later found myself in a taxi heading home early in the morning. 

As I sat down in I felt myself in a centred, loving place.  I had spent much of the flight meditating, and as I settled back for the final stage of my journey I was very clear on the reality that these many delays were in Divine order.

The road conditions were icy.  The driver informed me that he would be driving very carefully and hoped I did not mind (another delay obviously).  I was genuinely at peace when I replied it would be no problem, and that the world would be a better place for his thoughtfulness.  He then explained that he had 7 children waiting for him at home and he appreciated my patience.

You might notice that I had many opportunities to get frustrated but because of my choice to stay centred and my spiritual practice I was open for what was to come.  I celebrate this growth on my part - I have struggled with such events in the past.

With the ice so gently broken the conversation continued.  Karim (this was the driver's name) and I started to talk about the world and the state of it.  To each comment he made concerning the challenges of the world I offered the perspective that I could settle for 'being the change I wanted to see in the world.'  It wasn't long before Karim spotted the spiritual context and the conversation shifted to Islam and what it meant to him.  As I conversed with him I spoke from a place of acceptance.  I commented that the world perhaps had missed the subtleties of history and the many hundreds of years of scientific and academic accomplishments by the Islamic world.  I also commented upon the fundamentalism of the crusades, and how that most of the major religions have undergone some violent phases in their history.

Looking directly at me in the rearview mirror he said, "There should be more people like you in the world.  Your attitude is an exceptional one and it is a pleasure to have met you."   Needless to say the passage I was reading only a few hours earlier jumped into mind.  Apparently I can manifest fairly quickly when I put my heart into it.  But the key message here is that had I not been in a place of true peace, and in the right taxi at the perfect time, I never would have had this wonderful conversation.

Karim, thank you.  I consider myself on a path of sharing love, acceptance and peace with others.  It is very touching when a stranger tells me that my coming from such a place makes me (in their minds) an exceptional person.  I do not need to be told this to live as I do, but it touches my heart when I am.

Delays
You may be later than expected,
delays may grab and shake your mind,
to frustrated destinations,
through inflated sense of time.

Think now for a moment,
of the truth of time and space.
Why let heat of moment's passing,
infringe upon your grace?

Regardless of delays,
that in truth do not exist,
the only present predicaments,
are centred moments missed.

When you come to know this,
your journey will ebb and flow,
time will change its meaning,
and space will shift to know.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen

Connection

The past few days of travelling to Winnipeg for Thanksgiving have been like a see-saw (or teetertotter) for me.  In one moment I am centred and in the next my mind jumps to 'whatifs' around the business and I feel a surge of excitement.  I've been fairly good at reminding myself that even when times are good that balance and being centred is important.

In thinking about this idea I spent some time contemplating the idea of connection.  During this period the following poem arrived.  I'm definitely in a place where I'd rather stay centred than in excitement at future possibilties.

Connection
How would the journey feel,
if we left goals at the feet of change?
What if the focus was connecting,
Divine flow far from strange?

Bringing finity to the physical,
seeking predictability.
But what part of us is comfortable,
with connection to timed-space that we see?

Living awareness of our feelings,
immersed in present, not in ends.
Unsolicited goals connecting,
love seen in strangers and in friends.

If there's something bigger than everything,
that's created the all that we know,
then surely the self too was created,
for us to connect, express and to show?

We're not needed to be only Being.
There's purpose to integrating whole.
To feel awe in our everyday lives,
takes willingness and connection to soul.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen

Freedom

I had an amazing event happen yesterday.  I can't get into details but suffice to say if things go as I'd like I will have a lot of freedom in my business future, to do what I am most passionate about, and accelerate the vision I have.

The beautiful thing about all this is that I've been focusing very clearly on creating financial freedom in the past.  I've been very deliberate in not getting specific in treatment.  When I'm in a position to share I am confident that you'll be wowed as I am, and see what I mean.

What was doubly intriguing though was that over the past week I've been reading about Freedom in class and meditating on the ideas of calmness, awareness, and grace.  After yesterday's meeting and the ensuing moment of excitement I felt myself suddenly feel very calm.  In my mind I heard the line, "...wonders never cease."  I realized that that could be the new greeting to replace "I'm divine."  I also realized that whilst it is sweet to find the light in darkness, that it's also very sweet to recognize grace during the moments of sweet success.

And then I got back to thinking about freedom and how closely it's connected to Unity.

Freedom
The search of the human mind,
is to be freed of objective chains,
shatter links of lack, want and poverty,
the fear of hereafter and pain.

We want to feel there's good,
in the world in which we partake,
to soothe split of being from self,
to integrate but not to forsake.

And yet in our quest for freedom,
we may swap one image for another.
Condemnation toward others,
strands ego that's left to recover.

For the mind to know true liberty,
without the self imposing will,
is as rare as actualization,
upon thinking of highest skill.

If Infinity cannot be divided,
upon itself, indivisbly,
then we must rediscover the axiom,
that with freedom walks Unity.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen

Disapointments

As we journey the road of life can we can hit disappointments. Our plans can fall apart and our expectations fall short. It becomes interesting when we look forward to something and things don't quite work out the way we had anticipated. I’m starting to believe that the difference between a vision and a plan is attachment. And the manner in which we live can influence our plans in the most unexpected of ways.


Disapointments

Make peace with the outcomes.
They're a step of happenstance.
Be clear about your peace,
pay it more than just a glance.

Where we need to really grow,
comes from a gentle place,
of self-care and compassion,
not a time-fraught scary place.

Remove yourself from anything,
that would pull your mind away,
from balance and the calmness,
in every minute, hour and day.

Despite whatever happens,
never lose anything to do,
with what you are as a person,
your being, or being true.

Look at your disappointments,
and learn how you can grow.
Swim trough the waves of sorrow,
live the joy your being sews.

Have an open willingness,
to look at the goals you set.
Are you overly pleasing others?
Called to know, then forget?

Use your mind and life experience.
Seek wisdom, be willing to look
at your life and mindless happenings,
and the decisions that you took.

There is no greater time than silence.
Listen and feel what you feel.
Allow yourself to be guided.
Don't let thoughts cajole and steal.

There is never loss or limitation,
only the stories that we tell.
Re-label, re-focus, and re-value,
come out from reason's spell.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen

Regardless

I've been thinking about some of the things I've been hearing of late from those I've been sharing time with and also of some of things I've read in the past.  The journey from a solitary perspective to a realization (and I might add place of grace) of something bigger than we are is full of many thoughts, words and adventures. 

The initial tentative motions into believing there's something on your side, to the early glimpses of what is possible are like the first glances outward from the nest by the young bird.  As we begin to flap our wings in preparation for flight we look about us and see others close by and marvel at the birds that swoop and glide so majestically in the sky.  We are struck by the grace and sublime motion, a part of us yearning to fly as others do.  Sometimes are caugtht up in this longing and our attention slips to comparison.  At others we are set on launching ourselves from the nest with a focus on what we will need to ensure successful flight.

Yet for all our sight, and the peception through our senses, there is a part of us that knows how to fly, that will always know what is needed.  Will our comparisons, or focus on things, distract us from the part of us that knows?  Perhaps.  But such moments are, I believe, both human and necessary.  There's something powerful in integrating both the brain that would analyze the nest, the tree, the sky and other elements about us, with that part of us that soar as we do. 

If we are aware we will come to recognize those moments when we let the reasoning overcome the knowing, the being.  And in time we will come to know that we know, regardless of what we may reason.

Regardless
Behind asking, "How am I?"
is a supreme calming Truth.
Carrying me from I to we,
regardless of status or youth.

When we've shifted from,
"Oh well" to, "All's well."
Past reaction without thought,
regardless of heaven or hell.

Focused on All, not judgment,
awareness practicing we.
Released of past and future.
Regardless of you or me.

Past treating for specifics,
or stockpiled purity,
is the seeking of Truth and awareness,
regardless of surety.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen

The Play

I was driving this morning and reflecting upon last night.  I had gone to bed after meditation and realized that I was not managing to sleep.  After about 15 minutes or so an idea came to mind.  What if I meditated again?  Even if I fell asleep I would still accomplish the goal of slowing down and resting.  And a conscious meditation would be a great way to clear the way for sleep to come.

And so pulling myself from bed I went to my favourite chair and settled in. I cannot tell you how long it took me to fall alseep but I can say that the experience was dramatically different to nights past.  I awoke refreshed; so refreshed, in fact, that a poem jumped into my head this morning whilst I was driving back home.

The Play
Let sleeplessness,
be a thing of the past.
Let your practice be
your play, you the cast.

Allow relaxation,
onto your colourful stage.
Dim lights of excitement,
rehearse script of the Sage.

Be a lover of silence,
hear the Director guide.
Let the Vision sweep you,
and conviction provide.

Copyright (c) 2009, Carmien Owen