Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Meditation

There's something to be said for going through a couple of weeks of spin to acquire a taste for meditation. Ironically, it took prompting myself to meditate in one of the most mental moments in my life to hear the Universe telling me I needed to meditate more.

There's something to be said when you hear that little voice in your head telling you to Meditate.

Of course, I couldn't answer back. Not only did this help me reassure myself that I am sane, but more importantly I think there's value in not answering the Universe back in conversation. When you're speaking with the Universe you really do need to surrender your ego and hear what It has to say.

Suffice to say I've now found a regular 20 minutes each morning - right after I get Emma (my 22 month old daughter dressed and she snuggles with Mommy) I now meditate. I've got a regular space, it's quiet, and I'm finding this to be a beautiful practice.

But I have come to realize that I had to arrive at this conclusion about meditation myself. For me meditation is about surrender and peace with an open heart. You have to listen. Jornaling is for reflection, but meditation is about taking a moment out of life to simply be with the I Am.

I'll come back to more thoughts on meditation over time but for now I will share what I heard today:
I am aware, clear and mindful of the God in each moment.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Seeking help

Last night when debriefing with my practitioner I came to truly know that sometimes you may only be ready for a sign. My sign was the realization that situations with high impact that see me facing some kind of time pressure equate to me forgetting to be mindful. For the first time ever I can articulate key causes behind my forgetting to be mindful:

Time + Impact = Forgetfulness

Time pressure can come from an incident where something has already blown up and needs to be fixed NOW (quoting an email I received yesterday). Or better yet time pressure can come from an impending deadline. There's no distinction between a meeting that's about to end or a deadline for a deliverable.

So what am I seeking help with? Well, simply put I am looking for comments and suggestions. I want suggestions on the type of affirmations I should be using to remember mindfulness when in high-pressure situations facing some form of deadline.

Let's have a dialogue! People have been asking me how to blog in the spiritual context - well, this is the real reason for blogging people! Get a reader base and then check in with them for inspiration. Your role now is to click the comments link below and add a comment :)

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Dazzled by the Moment

I once heard a stand up philosopher ask how long a moment was. Is a moment really long, or very, very quick he asked? Yesterday an answer came to mind for me. Each moment, each thought, word and deed, is an opportunity to know God.

Being present in each moment and making divine choices can be as simple as experiencing the dazzle of life. Sometimes meditation can be a haven of peace. Whatever your observations may be, pause, wait and connect with the fundamental spaciousness that simply is.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Peace after the Hurricane

Yesterday was the perfect example of a mental hurricane for me. The warning signs came around lunch time. I was in a discussion about client needs and suddenly got caught up realizing something big had been missed. I was dizzy, sick to my stomach and disorientated. However, after 30 minutes of this I remembered to be conscious. I called out the reality, claimed that we had the solution and found peace.

But apparently I wasn't done there. After one of the most intense days in memory I found myself experiencing the furor that follows sitting in the eye of the hurricane. Here's a rough summary:
  • I started working on connecting my new camera to the computer
  • I couldn't find the cable. So I reacted by freaking out
  • I found the cable, but then spent time struggling with how long it was taking
  • I then spent a bunch of time certain that I wouldn't be able to create the right format or export it
  • After that I moved into an internal discussion about how I would tell my friend we needed to film the session again (he's a reflexologist and this video is critical to his certification process)
  • And then in the middle of the most intense mental winds I stopped myself!

In the midst of my mental meltdown I managed to tell myself that it was all good and that I would come through this. It's hard to explain quite how this all felt but I can say that in the moment I claimed clarity and the solution I felt very, very tired and proceeded to crash.

I then woke up at 4 am and proceeded to confirm the videos had copied over, I could create the format I wanted. I then went on to prepare the beginning of my keynote address for April as well as the slides I'd need for the case study. This morning was like the fresh dawning peace, where everywhere I looked the calm stillness following the storm invaded my soul.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Buying into the Emotion

I heard a saying last night that really stood out. "The story keeps walking through the door." As I started to think about that a situation yesterday came to mind.

Without getting into details I will say that in hearing a series of events and the actions of people involved that I initially bought into the emotion. During a meeting I was fortunate enough to have my 'hyper' energy politely pointed out and immediately responded. I thank the God in that moment but more importantly the subsequent contemplation.

As I returned home I then took the time to share the story of events with my wife. Her main reaction was simple; 'you're a consultant, you don't need to buy into the emotional BS.'

And in turn I think back to the thought of the day I posted recently; "I am surrounded by people that are awake and aware." How easy it would have been to fail to hear those about me, and how easy it would be to not just buy into the emotion but to also go through the 30 day money back guarantee!

I am grateful for having the vision to be surrounded by wonderful people who remind me to be the best that I can be. And I am grateful for my own awareness to hear these angels, process their teachings and to realize that mindfulness is about being able to learn through an experience.

Blessings, joy and peace my friends!

Monday, March 9, 2009

More Good News

There's more good news people! An article in the Edmonton Journal, entitled "Smile - you'll lead a healthier, longer life" must be shared.

"Optimists live longer, healthier lives than pessimists, U.S. researchers said on Thursday in a study that may give pessimists one more reason to grumble." Had I been the journalist I would have ended that sentence with, 'one good reason to make a different choice.' But I digress.

"Researchers at University of Pittsburgh looked at rates of death and chronic health conditions among participants of the Women's Health Initiative study, which has followed more than 100,000 women ages 50 and over since 1994. Women who were optimistic - those who expect good rather than bad things to happen - were 14 per cent less likely to die from any cause than pessimists and 30 per cent less likely to die from heart disease after eight years of followup in the study."

I have to confess that this article is no surprise to me whatsoever. I also enjoy the idea that science is making a habit recently of proving some of the ideas I live my life by. In summary:
  • If I choose to expect good things in my life I am 14 per cent less likely to die than if I didn't make this choice
  • If I choose to expect good things in my life I am 30 less likely to die from heart attack

This makes sense, and if anything I believe these numbers are low. But whatever the specific numbers may actually be there's no doubt in my mind that as a result of my choosing to expect good in my life I am better off. And didn't Ernest Holmes say that to "learn how to think is to learn how to live." It would seem that the time has come to evolve this idea and claim that, 'To learn how to choose has been proven to learn how to live.'

And if you needed some good news today then enjoy. Signs reminding you to 'expect the good' are always a good thing in my humble opinion.

Blessings, joy and peace my friends!

Friday, March 6, 2009

Good News

There was a day when I struggled to read the paper or watch the news. When I made the decision to live a more conscious and aware lifestyle I became acutely aware of how much bad news there is out in the world.

At first I struggled with this. I stopped watching the news or reading the paper. And then I realized that that's akin to being like the spiritual guru that goes off to live as a hermit in a cave somewhere mysterious; sure, you've transcended that moment for yourself but you're hardly transcending life nor will you acquire many ideas on how to inspire others.

However, on some days I open the paper and I am offered additional blessings. One page in particular caught my attention in the Edmonton Journal today. The headline read: Religious brains more calm in face of anxiety.

It got better. "The brains of religious people are calmer in the face of error and uncertainty than doubters, Canadian university researchers have found." I will confess that I was hooked, and read on.

"Compared to non-reigious subjects, the highly religious had 33 percent less activity in the anterior cingulated cortex, the part of our brain that regulates anxiety. Those certain of God's existence had 45 per cent less activity in this region compared to those convinced there is no God. The religious people weren't just calm, they were more accurate."

Why do I think this occurs? Well, in short my spiritual, or religious, perspective has brought me to a place where I have faith that there's an Infinite power for good in the universe. The key is making the choice to know that Infinite power is on your side. Do that and that article makes a lot of sense. Of course I am calmer and more accurate; I engage in the world with faith that I can control my conditions and that things will work out according to the vision I create for myself. And in turn, because I am calmer my brain has a better capacity to perform. What's there not to like about being 45% less anxious?

Every so often I am reminded that there's a good reason to engage living your spiritual philosophy. This article confirms what I already knew; since finding my spiritual perspective I've been calmer and better at what I do and my mind is clearer. If I had remained a cave-hermit and refused to read or watch the news I'd have missed this, and in turn never would have blogged about it either. Now isn't that good news?

Blessings, joy and peace my friends!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Helplessness and Anger

An interesting event happened after I got home from class last night. I was on my computer and following a 10 minute stretch of feeling completely helpless I lost my temper.

I am not talking about a brief vent here. I am talking about 5 minutes of venting and cursing. This is the kind of temper tantrum that I felt I had moved through in the past and no longer included in my life. Apparently, I was wrong and there was still work to do. What's clear is that it's as easy to regress when you live a spiritual lifestyle as it is when you don't. I managed to regress. I was so frustrated that to my shame my wife had to phone downstairs to tell me to stop what I was doing.

The difference between then and now though is my response. Certainly, during the moment of helplessness and frustration I reacted with anger. But once I was done I was able to set the story aside and ask myself what had just happened, and why had I chosen to act in this way?

Almost immediately I came to a realization. The whole event was while I was playing a computer game. I had just spent 10 minutes trying to avoid losing the event and was seeking to avoid the consequences within the game. In order to avoid the death of my character I then spent another few minutes running frantically away (think Monty Python's 'Brave Sir Robin' and you'll likely have a good image to work with). But in spite of all that effort the character died. I had just gone through 5 minutes of pure-helplessness. And no matter what I did it wasn't enough.

At that point I fell asleep. Today I am able to look my wife in the eye and feel proud of my response. Yes, I lost my temper. But more importantly, I know why. And in knowing that cause I am wiser. The next time I encounter such a situation I fully expect to have a better reaction. And I get to add 'helplessness' to my previous list of reasons for my anger - the little child in my past must have felt so very helpless by the painful choices being made for him. I hug little-Carmien, remind him that he is completely empowered, and point to myself to show him the man he will become.

If you are experiencing repeated situations, reactions or events, I would suggest you consider asking 'why'. Make the investment to uncover what's beneath and keep working on it.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Why Is This Happening For Me?

I cannot recall being this ill for a very long time. There was a point when I was shivering so much and so hard that the bed was shaking. As I look back I am inspired by the fact that even during the fevered chaos I was in at the time I still had the insight that perhaps the shivering was metaphorical for the anger I had felt and repressed?

And why wouldn’t this make sense? As I look back I think that much of my anger came from two sources:
  • A very, very poor set of examples around impulse control
  • No place or person to turn to for trust and love

Why wouldn’t I be angry about this? Not only did those that should fail to take the time to set the example of how to exercise impulse control, but that the very people I was supposed to be able to trust as a child let me down.

Is there any value in regretting all this? Absolutely not! This is truly a gift. I do not say this with a Pollyanna-like smile of denial. Quite to the contrary – as a result of carrying anger for so many years it was liberating to lie there shivering like a jack-hammer realizing that for the first time in my life I could truly see what had happened. For the first time it was a joy to remind myself that I am loved, and that I am enough.

As I look forward, I feel a sense of peace. My wife told me the next morning that I looked different. She explained that I looked more like a child. I am not surprised. On one hand some of my work included looking back and imagining the child that was me. I spent time with the child that was me and simply offered little-Carmien love. I recalled various events where I was exposed to violence, abuse and pain, and simply hugged him. I hugged the four year old witnessing drugs and told him that he is loved. I hugged the seven year old as he stood in the phone box calling the police at 2 am in the morning and told him that everything was good. I spent time looking into the eyes and heart of the 14 year old and reminded him of the man he would become.

I feel a sense of peace because I truly believe I have gone deep. I have faced hidden beliefs and pains within and am stronger as a result. I can say that being as physically ill as I was, was truly a gift. Not because of all the snot, sweat and searing pain, but because of the inner peace that I now feel. After all, the physical is but a fraction of what is happening.

The next time you are physically ill I would humbly suggest you try to take some time to ask yourself, ‘why is this happening for me?’ Perhaps you might find peace in the answer.

Blessings, joy & peace my friends!