Last Sunday I was asked by our musical director if I'd sing this Sunday. With a smile in my heart I said yes. As I look back upon the experience I think that it was profound for many reasons.
I had to be better at listening so that I'd hear what was being said on Thursday at practice. It turns out that I have a powerful voice. I had to learn about using the full range of my voice. And to top it off I had to learn about standing back a little from the mic. I also had to discover that my voice at the lower notes can sound lovely. It turns out that I can sing softly, and in so doing introduce a wondrous range of emotion and texture to my voice. I'd been so busy in the past, singing within the congregation, striving for that power that I'd never stopped to consider how I might sound if I put focus into the lower range of my voice. If anything I'd always strived to 'belt' out when I could because I felt that had the strongest sound (albeit with the occasional challenge to decent pitch). But in the end, this experience has taught me that there is a wonderful sound to be found when you harmonize and support. And perhaps like other aspects of my expression I'd approached singing wanting to be heard, craving others to tell me I'm good. I believe that I learned something very profound today.
Anna and Robyne (the two other singers) were very, very sweet Their compassion at my first time at singing on a stage was a wonderful thing. They did an exquisite job at giving me feedback in a wonderful way.
In turn, the 'feeling' of the experience was marvellous. I will confess that I struggled to hear if I'd manage to hit the right balance with the rest of the band. But I could hear the music around me and have to assume that I managed to be good enough.
But what an experience. The talk at centre today included a piece about how truly listening to music requires you to be present. You can't hear harmonies if you are 'futurizing'. Well, I can tell you that you cannot sing in harmony if you are futurizing either! For pretty much the entire event I was absorbed. It may be a form of spritual practice to let listening to music carry you into the moment, but being a part of creating it...well, that takes the practice up a notch. Getting energy from the audience may be why some perform. For my part, I felt so tightly knit with the moment that it was if there was no place where my fabric ended and that of the Universe took over. I was truly conscious.
What stands out for me is that I managed to 'expect the good'. I knew I'd have fun - I did. I had heard that your body does strange things when you sing publicly. Given that this was my first time on stage you can imagine the nerves. Well, those nerves likely had something to do with the uncontrollable 'warble'that I heard enter my voice at a couple of points. But right in the middle of it all a part of me realized that I only had to relax, and expect the good. In addition, I also discovered that if I bent my knees that you force a physical reaction to relax your upper body. I also discovered that if you want to preserve pitch while singing that you can lower your chin a little. More power and pitch is possible.
Where did those discoveries come from? No one had told me beforehand. Yet there was a part of me that knew. And I like to believe that the fact that 'expecting the good' had something to do with it.
I had some lovely feedback (someone even sent me an email). Some of it related that I appeared to be having fun up there. And I certainly did. Another comment was that people didn't know I was a singer. Smiling, I told them that until today I wasn't. All told, I'd like to feel that what manifested was "good enough."
"Good enough" are worlds carefully chosen here. Being good enough has been a lesson for me. I think that as well as needing to learn how to listen better before I'd be ready to perform as a singer I needed to work through some of my past beliefs of not being good enough.
At the end of it all I approached Robyne and asked her a simple question. "So, would you ask me up again some time?"
"Without hesitation," she replied. And when you think about it, that has to be a wonderful encapsulation of 'good enough'.
Blessings, joy and peace my friends!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Hold Your Moment - Another verse?
On Friday I had the most extraordinary moment. I was with a client and during discussion I was hit with a bombshell. We clarified a critical requirement and in that moment I had a flash of fear. The way the solution was currently configured it would not work. At that moment I realized that as things were set up that the whole project would fail.
I opened up the screen for the settings that led to this and stared at them. One of the project team got up, realizing what I was looking at, and asked, "Aren't there any other settings?"
I shook my head and looked down at the floor. And then suddenly a voice within me said, "All is well. The answer is possible." With that I suddenly found myself in a calm place. I closed my eyes and the answer began to come to mind. For the next few minutes I explored the various pieces and for a few moments came to the last potential obstacle. And then I realized that the answer was indeed the right solution and that the client's critical requirement would be met.
I am most proud of the manner in which I found my faith that day. Yes, I had a moment of fear. My head spun, I felt sick, and a whirlwind of chaos gripped my mind. But in spite of the intensity of that moment I had the consciousness to find the Truth within. As I look back I am very proud of what I did that day.
In turn I was inspired to add another verse to 'Hold Your Moment':
It's the practice,
That leads you to a place,
Where the sweet voice of Truth,
Makes the chaos fade.
I don't ever recall,
In such a space of time,
Being so rocked by condition,
Yet bouncing back in mind.
(c) Copyright 2009, Carmien Owen
I opened up the screen for the settings that led to this and stared at them. One of the project team got up, realizing what I was looking at, and asked, "Aren't there any other settings?"
I shook my head and looked down at the floor. And then suddenly a voice within me said, "All is well. The answer is possible." With that I suddenly found myself in a calm place. I closed my eyes and the answer began to come to mind. For the next few minutes I explored the various pieces and for a few moments came to the last potential obstacle. And then I realized that the answer was indeed the right solution and that the client's critical requirement would be met.
I am most proud of the manner in which I found my faith that day. Yes, I had a moment of fear. My head spun, I felt sick, and a whirlwind of chaos gripped my mind. But in spite of the intensity of that moment I had the consciousness to find the Truth within. As I look back I am very proud of what I did that day.
In turn I was inspired to add another verse to 'Hold Your Moment':
It's the practice,
That leads you to a place,
Where the sweet voice of Truth,
Makes the chaos fade.
I don't ever recall,
In such a space of time,
Being so rocked by condition,
Yet bouncing back in mind.
(c) Copyright 2009, Carmien Owen
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Hold the Moment
A work in progress...I may even have a melody for this one, perhaps I am finally moving toward writing songs?
Do your eyes well,
When you think from where you've come?
Does your faith light your grace,
Everything seen as One?
Do your feelings and beliefs,
Jump and cry aloud,
As peace with you shines,
And love within you shouts.
Hold the moment,
Hold the moment close and tight,
Perhaps there's a reason,
We were given the choice of sight?
Hold the moment,
Live like it's all today,
Join your grace with thoughts and words,
Live the moment in what you say.
My spirit cries sweet tears,
Of joy and peace and love,
The beauty of the world,
From within to above,
It's clear to my eyes now,
Clearer than its ever been,
My heart touched so deeply,
My sight finally keen.
Hold the moment,
Hold the moment close and tight,
Perhaps there's a reason,
We were given the choice of sight?
Hold the moment,
Live like it's all today,
Join your grace with thoughts and words,
Live the moment in what you say.
Hold the moment,
Live the moment in what you say.
Hold your moment,
Live the moment in every way,
Live the moment in every way,
Live the moment in every way...
(c) Copyright 2009, Carmien Owen
Saturday, June 20, 2009
What does it mean to be One?
We are halfway through our Practitioner training. As a part of this journey we were asked to consider what means to be One. Here's one perspective.
To be one is a continuum. At one end is ignorance through self and at the other wholeness through consciousness. But what is consciousness, and why does it make such a difference?
As a creation of God we, humankind, have been given the capacity to choose to view ourselves as something larger than the physical extent of ourselves. In coming to realize that there is something more than just our physical self, more than just the grey matter of our brains, or a memory hidden mysteriously within the constructs of DNA we have the opportunity to live in faith. In discovering faith we can come to exist in a place of grace.
One form of faith is a knowing that we are created within the idea known as God. This Universal presence has a nature. As an Infinite, or omnipresent, being, its nature must therefore extend into us. Thus, it is in our nature to evolve and create, just as the Universe does. In a word it is our nature to be exactly as the Universe is.
God is certainly in us, but as individual expressions of God we could hardly ‘be’ God. That would run against the indivisible completeness of Infinity. Rather, in our world of individualized expression our nature is identical to God. We are less than the totality that is God, but we are no less for this as God is being through us.
We are like a grain of sand on the beach. All of us are sand, and God is the beach. All together God is both each grain of sand and the beach. Another way to appreciate how God works is to consider how a light works. We either perceive light or its absence. If we are turned toward the light our shadow will be behind us and if we are turned away from the light we will be looking at our own shadow. We have the opportunity to turn toward the light within, but for reasons unknown we sometimes choose to turn away from God and live in the shadows of our own subjective mind. God may be within us but we have been given freedom of will to choose or not choose to be one with this light; our choice cannot invalidate the existence of something that is omnipresent. And if we have turned from God, God is still within us waiting for us to choose consciousness over ignorance.
Just as we can begin to have a faith in the nature and power of God we can also come to understand the mechanical aspects of how things are. We can begin to see conditions for what they are and understand their relation to cause. With an appreciation for cause and effect we can begin to unfold an understanding of how creation works.
Once we understand the Universe is imbued with goodness we also can truly appreciate what it means for the Universe to expand good and to create. God is looking for the feeling to be shared, but knows that it must be truly experienced to be consciously embraced. The vision of God is for man and woman to be a perfect expression of life. Being consciously one with the Universe is to know that the I AM wishes no one to suffer in any way; it is to consciously shift on the continuum from ignorance to consciousness. No matter where we are on that continuum we are still one, the question is to what extent we are ‘being’ one.
As one we can choose to know that our nature can be the same as God’s nature. The evolution of consciousness starts with a discovery that things happen to me. We then realize that things or events are done by me. Consciousness realized begins to unfold an understanding of through me. And ultimately, we will seek for expression to occur with me as me. This is the journey that unfolds to be One.
To be one is a continuum. At one end is ignorance through self and at the other wholeness through consciousness. But what is consciousness, and why does it make such a difference?
As a creation of God we, humankind, have been given the capacity to choose to view ourselves as something larger than the physical extent of ourselves. In coming to realize that there is something more than just our physical self, more than just the grey matter of our brains, or a memory hidden mysteriously within the constructs of DNA we have the opportunity to live in faith. In discovering faith we can come to exist in a place of grace.
One form of faith is a knowing that we are created within the idea known as God. This Universal presence has a nature. As an Infinite, or omnipresent, being, its nature must therefore extend into us. Thus, it is in our nature to evolve and create, just as the Universe does. In a word it is our nature to be exactly as the Universe is.
God is certainly in us, but as individual expressions of God we could hardly ‘be’ God. That would run against the indivisible completeness of Infinity. Rather, in our world of individualized expression our nature is identical to God. We are less than the totality that is God, but we are no less for this as God is being through us.
We are like a grain of sand on the beach. All of us are sand, and God is the beach. All together God is both each grain of sand and the beach. Another way to appreciate how God works is to consider how a light works. We either perceive light or its absence. If we are turned toward the light our shadow will be behind us and if we are turned away from the light we will be looking at our own shadow. We have the opportunity to turn toward the light within, but for reasons unknown we sometimes choose to turn away from God and live in the shadows of our own subjective mind. God may be within us but we have been given freedom of will to choose or not choose to be one with this light; our choice cannot invalidate the existence of something that is omnipresent. And if we have turned from God, God is still within us waiting for us to choose consciousness over ignorance.
Just as we can begin to have a faith in the nature and power of God we can also come to understand the mechanical aspects of how things are. We can begin to see conditions for what they are and understand their relation to cause. With an appreciation for cause and effect we can begin to unfold an understanding of how creation works.
Once we understand the Universe is imbued with goodness we also can truly appreciate what it means for the Universe to expand good and to create. God is looking for the feeling to be shared, but knows that it must be truly experienced to be consciously embraced. The vision of God is for man and woman to be a perfect expression of life. Being consciously one with the Universe is to know that the I AM wishes no one to suffer in any way; it is to consciously shift on the continuum from ignorance to consciousness. No matter where we are on that continuum we are still one, the question is to what extent we are ‘being’ one.
As one we can choose to know that our nature can be the same as God’s nature. The evolution of consciousness starts with a discovery that things happen to me. We then realize that things or events are done by me. Consciousness realized begins to unfold an understanding of through me. And ultimately, we will seek for expression to occur with me as me. This is the journey that unfolds to be One.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Was God in Adolf Hitler?
Yesterday I had the fortune to be visited by two Jehovahs Witnesses while working from home. I say fortune because I am genuinely grateful on a number of levels.
A part of my gratitude is that I was able to spot some growth on my part. The most fundamental shift, to my mind, was that in the past such meetings had evoked a defiant stance, almost a challenging attitude, where I would silently dare such visitors to try and convince me. As I look back on such events I have to confess that I was neither accepting of their choice nor did I have much in the way of a personal philosophy (or faith at the time) to really do any justice to the conversation. And most importantly, my daring and defiance have shifted to faith and knowing; all improvements I have to say.
A few moments did stand out for me though. As we walked through various elements of the conversation one in particular stood out. It was around the point that I mentioned that I believe that God is in everything. The rebuttal given came in the form of a question, "Was God in Adolf Hitler?"
My answer at the time was, upon reflection, somewhat representative of what I am about to paraphrase. With the benefit of hindsight I came to realize that it takes time and experience of discussion with one's faith and belief to truly understand such questions and the many levels they represent.
My answer now would be:
One way to appreciate how God works is to consider how a light works. We either perceive light or its absence. If we are turned toward the light our shadow will be behind us and if we are turned away from the light we will be looking at our own shadow. I believe that Adolf Hitler, like all of us, had the opportunity to turn toward the light within him and for reasons unknown to me he chose to turn away from God and live in the shadows of his own subjective mind. God may be within us but we have been given freedom of will to choose or not choose to work with this light. Our choice cannot invalidate the existence of something that is omnipresent. And if we have turned from God, God is still within us waiting for us to choose light over shadow.
Perhaps the outstanding challenge for this philosophical position is the compassion in me. I cannot help but feel love for all those that suffered at his hands. To be sure his choices reflected one of the most brutal periods of our history. There may be some who will read this and feel shock at my position. If you are such a person I offer you love and acceptance for the God I know to be within you, and I know that you have what you need for your healing and growth. And to those that with to pursue this conversation further but cannot fathom why I would take such a position I would be happy to discuss this further, where I would likely expand upon the ideas of the 'Law of Averages' and the creative process itself.
But most significantly, I would contend, the darkest choices of others offer us the brightest contrast of all. The choices of others need not hold us in bondage. The story of suffering will require healing, but to do justice to that pain surely there must be more than just the pain itself?
Clearly the Universe is providing for me. I have made a commitment to service through Ministry and such conversations are just the beginning. And in time I am sure that my answer will be further refined but never finalized. Wording aside I feel most proud of one part of the conversation.
My blessed visitors: "But there is no hope for mankind."
Me: "I firmly believe there is. I only have to look to examples of evolution of consciousness in both my own experience and that of history. Just look at the two of you walking through the world spreading your message of good intent and light. There was a time when the three of us would not have had the freedom to think and speak so openly on my doorstep as we do today."
Blessings, joy and peace my friends!
A part of my gratitude is that I was able to spot some growth on my part. The most fundamental shift, to my mind, was that in the past such meetings had evoked a defiant stance, almost a challenging attitude, where I would silently dare such visitors to try and convince me. As I look back on such events I have to confess that I was neither accepting of their choice nor did I have much in the way of a personal philosophy (or faith at the time) to really do any justice to the conversation. And most importantly, my daring and defiance have shifted to faith and knowing; all improvements I have to say.
A few moments did stand out for me though. As we walked through various elements of the conversation one in particular stood out. It was around the point that I mentioned that I believe that God is in everything. The rebuttal given came in the form of a question, "Was God in Adolf Hitler?"
My answer at the time was, upon reflection, somewhat representative of what I am about to paraphrase. With the benefit of hindsight I came to realize that it takes time and experience of discussion with one's faith and belief to truly understand such questions and the many levels they represent.
My answer now would be:
One way to appreciate how God works is to consider how a light works. We either perceive light or its absence. If we are turned toward the light our shadow will be behind us and if we are turned away from the light we will be looking at our own shadow. I believe that Adolf Hitler, like all of us, had the opportunity to turn toward the light within him and for reasons unknown to me he chose to turn away from God and live in the shadows of his own subjective mind. God may be within us but we have been given freedom of will to choose or not choose to work with this light. Our choice cannot invalidate the existence of something that is omnipresent. And if we have turned from God, God is still within us waiting for us to choose light over shadow.
Perhaps the outstanding challenge for this philosophical position is the compassion in me. I cannot help but feel love for all those that suffered at his hands. To be sure his choices reflected one of the most brutal periods of our history. There may be some who will read this and feel shock at my position. If you are such a person I offer you love and acceptance for the God I know to be within you, and I know that you have what you need for your healing and growth. And to those that with to pursue this conversation further but cannot fathom why I would take such a position I would be happy to discuss this further, where I would likely expand upon the ideas of the 'Law of Averages' and the creative process itself.
But most significantly, I would contend, the darkest choices of others offer us the brightest contrast of all. The choices of others need not hold us in bondage. The story of suffering will require healing, but to do justice to that pain surely there must be more than just the pain itself?
Clearly the Universe is providing for me. I have made a commitment to service through Ministry and such conversations are just the beginning. And in time I am sure that my answer will be further refined but never finalized. Wording aside I feel most proud of one part of the conversation.
My blessed visitors: "But there is no hope for mankind."
Me: "I firmly believe there is. I only have to look to examples of evolution of consciousness in both my own experience and that of history. Just look at the two of you walking through the world spreading your message of good intent and light. There was a time when the three of us would not have had the freedom to think and speak so openly on my doorstep as we do today."
Blessings, joy and peace my friends!
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Dazzled
I see the beauty now, the flowers, light upon joy beheld. I hear the laughter both near and far, and it moves me to laugh with you. Colours invitingly call to me. The wind caresses the leaves, singing to me. The freshness of life a scent that lifts me.
All things about me both remind and distract me, begging to be chosen.
It's not so much an illusion than it is an opportunity. The seduction of distraction is not necessarily mine, just as I need not always be bound by both space and linear time.
I stand in the grace and knowing of infinite possibilities. I remember the I AM in each moment. The I AM that I am surrenders to Infinity in the knowledge that there is a power for good, if only because I choose it. I bring my true self with me wherever I go, my true self being through me.
My true self sits in your garden, dazzled by the flowering of all that is.
All things about me both remind and distract me, begging to be chosen.
It's not so much an illusion than it is an opportunity. The seduction of distraction is not necessarily mine, just as I need not always be bound by both space and linear time.
I stand in the grace and knowing of infinite possibilities. I remember the I AM in each moment. The I AM that I am surrenders to Infinity in the knowledge that there is a power for good, if only because I choose it. I bring my true self with me wherever I go, my true self being through me.
My true self sits in your garden, dazzled by the flowering of all that is.
Friday, June 5, 2009
My Manifesto of Mystery
Today is a day of joy.
I celebrate the calling to consciousness that invades me, like the sea invades a beach; inevitable, ebbing and flowing, crashing, sighing, tantalizing and enthralling.
I hear the whispers of life within the moments of silence. I stand upon the rooftop of my soul and call out with passion, life within me now is compelled to serve in no less a way.
Like a couching tiger I dance upon the treetops knowing that no limit is mine, except for those that limit me. I gaze to the heavens, my eye the optics to the realities of mystery. I delve to the core of all things, the world heating this form with the laws that bind us together.
I look to you now and accept you. You are loved, for it could be no other way. I stand next to you, drenched in humility, both of us looking to the birds that alight upon our shoulder, reassuring us that in the moment we took to listen that all was listening also.
My limitless power to create knows for you; it knows you are love, it knows that you are joy, it knows that you are humility, and it knows you carry your light of acceptance into the world.
Blessings, joy and peace my friends!
I celebrate the calling to consciousness that invades me, like the sea invades a beach; inevitable, ebbing and flowing, crashing, sighing, tantalizing and enthralling.
I hear the whispers of life within the moments of silence. I stand upon the rooftop of my soul and call out with passion, life within me now is compelled to serve in no less a way.
Like a couching tiger I dance upon the treetops knowing that no limit is mine, except for those that limit me. I gaze to the heavens, my eye the optics to the realities of mystery. I delve to the core of all things, the world heating this form with the laws that bind us together.
I look to you now and accept you. You are loved, for it could be no other way. I stand next to you, drenched in humility, both of us looking to the birds that alight upon our shoulder, reassuring us that in the moment we took to listen that all was listening also.
My limitless power to create knows for you; it knows you are love, it knows that you are joy, it knows that you are humility, and it knows you carry your light of acceptance into the world.
Blessings, joy and peace my friends!
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