Sunday, December 26, 2010

Becoming One with that which I Meditate Upon

For years now I've been hearing the same thing again and again.  It doesn't seem to matter where I hear it, or the setting I hear it in, but whenever someone asks what makes the difference in our spiritual journey most teachers will invariably say the same thing; you must meditate daily.

The interesting element of all this for me is that for years I'd hear this and really want to believe it.  There'd be classes during which I'd start off with the best of intentions.  And after about week 3 or 4 I'd have lost the habit.  Fortunately, I also came to discover for myself a couple of years ago that such words were trying to capture an idea so much more profound than could possibly be contained in the words themselves.  And since then I've been meditating at least once a day. 

In fact, it's gotten to the point that I now meditate at various points in the day.  Sometimes I'll take a full 30 or 60 minutes and at other times I'll snatch a few minutes of clearing my mind.  Regardless of how I might feel about all this, the result is something that cannot be expressed through this blog in words.  And the irony of all this?  If you're reading this and do not have a daily practice, or have not discovered what meditation means to you, then these are just words.  No amount of intellectual positioning will cause an internal shift for you.  You alone must make the decision.  You may be influenced, but in the end you will have to come to this place for yourself.

And yet, if you are curiously reading on or have already discovered this practice for yourself then you might have a care to read about what meditation means to me and what I am coming to discover on this particular aspect of my journey.  Perhaps the most fundamental impact of this spiritual practice is that it has been an integral part of what it is to open my eyes and to be conscious.  Being conscious of what I am doing has helped me to look critcally at those parts of me that had become so well-versed at listening to instinct.  Much of my life was filled with a lack of knowing what it was that I wanted.  Meditation has been instrumental in helping in this regard.

But don't be fooled.  This has been far from an easy journey.  For a long time I meditated and believe I did not get the results I might have.  In my experience the time I spent meditating was significantly more than compared to the time being taught, or reading, about it.  I've never found a 'guru' to teach me or had the opportunity to spend any time with a master.  For the most part I've had to work it out as I've gone along.  If the saying 'when the student is ready the teacher will appear' is true then clearly I've not been ready.  And so until I'm ready I'm going about it all as best as I can. 

I think I've had hints at what to look for but another challenge is that there so much information out there.  Yesterday I Tweeted that, "we hear the same spiritual teachings ceaslessly because such repetition pales against the number of teachings from the noise of instinct."  In short, there are so many teachers and aspects of the Truth out there because it's needed.  The amount of unconscious noise in the world is so loud that it's causing the need for Truth to be ever clearer.  You only have to consider how many millions of moments you have acted unconsciously to realize that millions of conscious choices will be required to replace old habits with new ones.  This is the essence behind the need for daily spiritual practice.  We have many bad habits of our sleep-walking to overcome.  However, for all the noise I believe some elements of Truth around meditation have managed to make it through.  And God knows I've put enough in the way in the past.

At the heart of what I have heard is a realization about what it is to be alive.  Within me there is a force for good, that is steeped in Light, joy, peace and a profound sense of mystery.  The more aware I become of the mysteries of life the more I realize that I don't know.  Yesterday I also Tweeted that, "any path I take to Truth will bring me to 'I don't know'.  Words, like any belief I have of my identity, will never be what I must become."  In short, I have come to believe that the more I surrender to the mysteries of life, the more faith I place in that sense of alive-ness within me, the more I realize how little I know.  I cannot explain why it is I know that at certain points within meditation I am one with everything.  I cannot explain how the Universe created everything that I know and have yet to discover, yet I know beyond a shadow of a doubt.  It is a paradox to both know and to not know.  And within that paradox is faith.

Central to all of this has been a discovery of meditating upon a vision for my soul's purpose.  I have come to realize that I must ask myself what I want to be.  What do I want to experience and to realize in my life?  But asking what I want to be has always required faith.  I cannot count the number of times I have thought about wanting to be a metaphysical Minister or to change the world of business through the collaboration consulting that I do only to hear a part of me express, or feel, doubt.  And so, in the face of not knowing how it could be done I have taken off smaller bites.  I have opted to settle for smaller goals, smaller reflections of what I wanted to realize.  I have come back again and again to such visions.  I have worked hard at critically assessing my doubts and beliefs.  The spending of this spiritual coin has yielded a change in my conditions and I have in turn witnessed a manifestation of my vision.  Over time I have come to build my faith in how things work.  How they work is simple; God takes care of it all.  I once heard a great teacher remind me that no matter what difficiencies I have it will only take one rain shower to fill in all the ditches.

Not knowing when it will rain is insignificant when compared to my making a simple choice to examine the ditches of my psyche.  I might not be able to conjure rain from the sky but I can look at them and focus on filling them with love, joy, and a peaceful knowing that they I am willing for them to be filled.  For me meditation has been instrumental in my journey, and again and again I have turned to it only to realize how important it has been.  I am becoming clearer upon the meaning of meditation for me; it is the practice of looking at those ditches and seeing the gaps are God, that the rain will come and fill them, and that in time the rain will eventually cause the ditches themselves to change shape. 

But beyond all this is a simple realization.  Meditation is becoming a training ground in being alive.  I am coming to realize that when I meditate I must focus on the Truth that I AM, the Light and Source within me and everyone.  Each meditation is a moment where I stop and apply myself wholly to the purification of my heart.  Every deep inhalation is becoming a physical cue to deepen my faith in all my needs met, my trust in not knowing, and my desire to embody God in every thought, word and deed.  In essence, I am coming to realize that meditation is my cue to focus on Source.

I do not meditate to become anything or to attain a goal.  I meditate to become one with that which I meditate upon.  I meditate upon my being the drop in the ocean and know that it is the ocean.  I meditate upon my being the ray of light and know that it is the light.  Any sense of self, or ego as it is so commonly termed, must be embraced to the point of surrender.  If there is a goal in meditation it is growth, where my sense of self grows to a sense of One, where an instinct to plan, analyze and worry become an indescribable urge to merge my awareness with the Allness of the Creator. 

If you have read these words and are not certain what to do with them then I cannot help you; only you can decide for yourself what your journey must be.  But in the meantime, until you discover what meditation means to you, I would suggest that you start by focusing on your soul's purpose, what you want to be, mix in some honesty and humility, and then meditate to be what it is you are meditating upon.  Close your eyes and try to imagine Infinity.  Be awed by it.  Imagine yourself a ray of light within the Great Light.  As you do so, merge your sense of soul's purpose with this awe-inspiring sense of that which is beyond the beyond, and pay homage to it.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Spirituality and Social Media

I was sent a link to a USA Today article about Pastors flocking to Facebook.  This article came as no surprise to me.  After all, I've been using this blog, Facebook and Twitter as a Practitioner.  However, elements of this article did stand out and inspired this blog.
"Social media use hasn't won universal blessings from religious leaders. Last month, a New Jersey minister called Facebook a marriage killer. A group of New York rabbis blogged about whether people should "fast from Facebook" during Passover. And last year, Pope Benedict XVI warned Roman Catholics not to allow virtual connections to overshadow real ones."

There are a few points that come to mind as I read this.  Firstly, Facebook is not a marriage killer.  Facebook is a way to connect with friends.  If a marriage is already at risk, then Facebook will make it easier to connect with others.  But if a marriage is already suffering from emotional connection and intimacy then Facebook will not be the cause of the end of the marriage.  I would much rather look at cause than symptom.  But then as I prepare to enter Ministerial training such comments help me to clarify my own vision for Ministry.

The idea of 'fasting from facebook' is actually quite interesting.  The key though I think is to be clear about why you've chosen to fast in the first place.  If this is about separating oneself from the attachment from Facebook or blogging (such as I have just done for a couple of weeks) as a part of showing an attachment whatfor, then I think there is value in that. 

And as for the Pope's comment, I think there's merit to human and real life connection.  But I think the comment is a bit of a glossary.  It provides a snapshot into an idea that is much more complex than how it's presented.  Do you honestly think that people will choose sending you a facebook message when they're face to face with you?  Of course not.  Is it possible that I might be motivated to go out less often because I connect with you on Facebook?  Maybe.  But then, sometimes it is nice to sit in the comfort of your own home and engage with friends on your own terms.  Don't feel in the mood for chatting?  Then review your inbox at your own pace.  However, the real benefit of Facebook is that it actually provides a way to build relationships with your real life friends because it offers a chance to build on that real life bond.  In addition, it also provides opportunities to connect with friends of friends. 

But beyond all this is an unshakable reality; humans crave relationship.  I have come to believe that a central reason for this is that relationships provide us a mirror for our journey.  Our friends and experiences with them provide us with awareness and fulfillment, and a chance to evolve in ways we could not do so alone.

I really did appreciate the example about a single mother posting a thank-you comment.  The pastor's response was great and an excellent example of my earlier point; Facebook offers an opportunity to connect away from real life meetings and to build on the relationship overall.  And in my opinion those spiritual leaders that talk about connecting with younger community members really are getting the idea.

I am glad to say that the Centres for Spiritual Living already operate a very democratic way.  The Religion I've brought into is all about suggesting ways in 'how' one might think and leaves the 'what to think' to the individual (and I'd have it no other way).  And the upcoming merger of the International and United Centres for Spiritual Living excites me on so many levels.  Not only is this a reverse of the trend of religious organizations splitting, but more importantly the definition of member communities (Centres and the like) is being relaxed to allow the inclusion of virtual, or on-line, Centres.  Dr. Kenn Gordon, the current President of the ICSL really gets the potential of the Internet and spiritual community. 

My vision around spirituality, and my Ministerial vision, and the Internet has evolved over the past 5 years or so.  I won't be surprised to reflect on this post in 5 years time and smile at how much it has evolved since now.  But regardless of what technology offers, and how it influences the human dynamic, it is still an expression of form.  It is the consciousness of the people behind the form (the technology and tools) that matters most.  Personally, I don't self-censor my posts based on who might read them.  I look to Social Media as a mirror.  If my comments, tweets and blog posts are depressing that's probably a reflection of where I am at.  And when you think about it, aren't your friends also a mirror?