Experience of Adversity

As I consider events over the past few days my mind is drawn to my feelings. Perhaps it might be accurate to say that I feel a mix of peace and calm, and yet I cannot help but ponder what appears, based on my experience of myself in the past, as a relatively lower intensity of emotions.

In the past I am certain my emotional reaction would have been more varied, and most definitely more intense. At a physical level I would have felt as though I had been punched in the stomach, and as if I was throwing up at the same time. I’m so familiar with this customary reaction that this sensory experience is noticeable by its absence.

At the mental level the conversation would have been much more intense (for one thing I am writing and meditating as you can read). Over the past five years I’ve taken many steps on the journey to be better at managing ‘how’ I think. And so as I contemplate this event and my mental reaction (and ensuring response) I cannot help but be struck by the evolution I’ve undergone. As I look back I can recall a gradual shift in the inner-conversation. The inner voice that is me can still find words of fear, but the I AM is becoming clearer – the part of me that knows sounds louder, as if the static of uncertainly has faded to silence and the broadcast has the speakers humming in rich and deep tones.

However, with regards to emotions I feel compelled to step back. I read something the other day that resonated with me. As with so many things we are here to learn it often takes personal experience to truly appreciate and incorporate what this expression we are needs. The conversation between the soul and the self (sometimes called ego) must be compelling interest to both sides. Experience of adversity becomes a proof to the self that provides credibility to the soul’s positioning. It is one thing to affirmatively pray for money and investment, but if we don’t know how to accept this experience or be willing for it our prayers will appear unanswered. But what if the point is not so linear – what if events are supposed to fail so that we can succeed?

Experience of adversity instils belief. Belief influences our feelings. And feelings are expressed as emotions. With experience our feelings can come to empower belief. As I write this I find myself as clear as I have ever been on my life’s vision, on the flow of the Divine in all life.

I believe the thing I want most in this world is to inspire and support the transformation of others. I have been refining this vision for five years now. Experience is providing me exactly what I need to live for this vision. My ability to inspire will be possible to the extent to which I am inspired. My ability to support others in their transformation will be as potent as my own transformation. And what could be more inspiring or have such potential to transform others than the Divine? By coming through such experiences with an ever increasing faith and belief in the Divine my steps toward my vision become more meaningful. Events that supposedly failed are now opportunities for the most meaningful success I can think of.

I do not know exactly ‘how’ this vision will unfold, but I am clear on the ‘what’. And that really is what matters. If we believe in our vision then in turn we will influence our feelings. And how these feelings express as emotions will shift in our favour, like a virtuous circle. Like a pebble hitting the water’s surface rings of belief will ripple through our thoughts, our reactions, and our emotions – we will change, and be able to change to the extent of our belief in our vision for ourselves. If you have a vision to inspire and support the transformation of others then I can think of no better advice than to begin with yourself. And the next time you experience a thought wrapped up in a feeling expressed as an emotion, ask yourself, “What do I believe that led to this emotion?”

On one thing I am positively certain – beliefs are the result of past experiences and can be changed. Beliefs are not my truth unless I allow them to be. In this moment the belief that the Divine is in every event, person, and place is a perfect place from which to begin creating my vision to inspire others, and support their transformation.  Ask not what people or events can do for you, but ask yourself what is your vision for yourself and how much do you truly believe it is already so.