It turns out that I've learned that I’m actually writing for myself, for my own healing and growth. It is possible that some day in the future someone will read these and get what they need. But I do know that I’ve benefitted through writing for myself – I’ve found a way to journal as a spiritual practice. And that craft of journaling has actually turned into a tool I can use as a Practitioner, not only for myself but for others. How wonderful is that!
At any rate, after some time taken to introspect, to search within for the truth, I wrote the following email. I am becoming a HUGE advocate of the power of journaling as a Spiritual practice. The process to write through this has helped me on so many levels. This email was sent this morning to the Private Equity investor who had stepped back from the deal:
I have come to realize that it is essential to be clear about what we want. In speaking with you over the past few years I’ve come to know a generous soul, someone who has been very successful professionally and monetarily. Yet in those same years you’ve never sounded fully satisfied. I will never forget the time you referred to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You’ve spoken of self-actualization in the mechanical sense of not needing to be concerned about biological, and safety needs, of achievements and reputation fuelling esteem needs. Yet, I am called to comment upon what Maslow referred to as belongingness and love needs. It sounds as though you are perhaps exploring how fully met these needs have been in your life. The passing of a friend can do that, as can the feeling that perhaps a family has grown and you have not fully been present in all experiences in your life. I believe that true abundance does not really come in currency or coin, but in spirit and sense of love in one’s life.
I am perhaps taking a bold step in being so frank with you, but as your friend and given the turn of events I am going to assume an entitlement to speak the truth as I see it. You appear to be coming to a place of clarity around your own vision and needs. I see someone that is recognizing (directly or indirectly) that to be truly transformed through self-actualization one must meet all the layers of Maslow’s hierarchy. You are honouring those needs and who you are; you are making choices to fully explore all your needs. I celebrate this.
Certainly, the fact that this deal has fallen through is disappointing. I am convinced at the genius of it. And whilst I personally believe there is a medium where you could have a very limited role and yet remain personally committed, it is essential that you have this belief as well. But more importantly, I see the gift in this decision at this time for both you and I. The gift for me is that I am facing what would in the past have been an intense adverse experience with a calmness and peace. And more importantly I am thinking of you, and hoping that in some way my presence in your life has provided a catalyst to support your transformation (for you see my life’s vision is to inspire and support the transformation of others). I still believe you are destined, as I mentioned the other day, to be someone who helps others transform. But your capacity in this regard will be limited by the extent of your own self-actualization.
I hope that the above helps to extend the level to which I understand. I also hope that we shall remain, and become stronger, friends. In this perhaps has also been a chance to really get know each other. Come February 1st I would love to have an email or phone call inviting me to lunch. I shall always enjoy your friendship should you choose it, and I will take great satisfaction in knowing that you have honoured yourself in the most profound of ways.
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