Humbled to witness the gift in cancer

As a part of our Practitioner training we are asked to make a hospital visit.  When I mentioned in class that I did not know anyone in hospital another Practitioner Intern asked me if I'd like to visit her cousin.  It turns out that Mary (not her real name) had had cancer for over a year.  As I entered the elevator with my Practitioner friend she informed me that her cousin was on Morphine every 4 hours with an option for an injection every hour.  She then commented that that was the same dosage level that her mother had been on when she had died. 

When we entered the room it was clear that Mary was surrounded by family.  There were already 4 people there; it felt good to know that she was surrounded by love.  At that point I had a chance to spend a few moments in meditation.  I realized that I'd not had the opportunity to re-read the study materials on hospital visitations.  But a wonderful thing happened.  As I meditated I felt a sense of peace accompanied by my thought that I would know the right and perfect thing to say.

After the welcome and greetings I found a seat (a wheelchair as it happens) and listened.  I focused on seeing Mary as perfect, with all that she needed for perfect health within her.  As the conversation began I soon realized that healing had started happening before I had arrived. 

A year ago Mary had had a tumour in her bowel removed.  However, they had also treated her with radiation and chemo.  And then two months ago she had had another tumour as well as a part of her bowels removed.  Work had been done to stitch her insides back together again but such was the blackened damage from the chemical and radioactive treatment that things had started falling apart from the inside.  The prognosis is currently that the cancer has been completely removed but she'll need another month for her insides to heal.

But then an interesting thing started to happen.  I noticed that for someone on such a regimine of pain-killers that she appeared very lucid.  I commented on this and asked her how she was feeling.  She felt good, she said.  And turning to her partner I asked how he was doing.  He was doing well, but as you can imagine much of his non-working time was now living in her hospital room after he returned from work. 

Before long other signs of the real reasons for healing started to be revealed.  Mary had used to be, as she put it, a 'control freak'.  She was learning to let go.  I commended her and asked her how she was with all the friends and family surrounding her with love and supporting her.  She answered that she was also learning how to receive love for the first time in her life.  It was clear that she was learning how to accept. I asked her if that was the case and after a few rounds of conversation I asked her what she felt about the idea of 'surrender', the idea of completely releasing and letting go.  Her response showed that the shrinking of her world over the past year had brought wisdom and profound realization to her.

She then shared that she had started praying alot, a somewhat new practice.  She believed in the 'Creator' and spoke about an experience of praying with her husband for the first time ever.  The conversation flowed and topics such as meditation were discussed.  She had heard about the practice but was not quite sure how to 'do it'.  I suggested a simple way of focusing on her breathing, perhaps starting for a minute to keep her mind clear.  She nodded at that and for a while the conversation then shifted to the two cousins sharing stories about their family.  Mary's 4 children were now staying with her mum and dad, but it turned out they had been with her sister for a while before her sister had become overwhelmed.

She reminisced on this for a while and spoke about how at first she had struggled with her sister asking for her forgiveness after having become overwhelmed at being a surrogate parent to her four children.  Mary shared the story of her forgiving her sister.  At around this point I could sense my intution raising the Good bumps on my neck.  After further sharing of the work she had been doing she then shared her vision for the future.  She was clear that she was now done with cancer, and that when she was healed she would go out into the world to share her stories and help support the transformation of others.

With moist eyes I suddenly felt incredibly humbled.  Here was a woman recovering from cancer, a hole in her belly, only allowed ice to drink, living on an IV for food, and a bag to go to the toilet in, and yet in spite of all that she was talking about receiving love, forgiveness, acceptance, and using her story to inspire others.  I was deeply moved.

And then my Practitioner friend asked her if she wanted a treatment.  In a place of great knowing I shared a prayer.  Mary cried after I had finished and I was left with the feeling that a release had occurred.  I looked at her and my final words were to tell Mary that she had everything she needed within her for perfect health.

As I look back on this experience I'm left with the feeling that I am clearer on my own purpose.  Mary has, like me, experienced alcohol and drugs as lessons in her life.  I could relate to her background and am grateful for not having chosen cancer as a lesson.  And yet I have been deeply touched and humbled.  My meeting with Mary only confirmed my beliefs about cancer and healing, and how the Divine works in, as, and through all.  To have witnessed the gift of cancer through this individualized aspect of the Divine may well be one of the most inspiring experiences I will ever have.